Societies standards of productivity, popularity, beauty, worth, availability…are at an all time high.
Many of us are finding ourselves out of alignment with these standards. Unable to keep up with this current demand.
The increase in mental health issues and of physical disease is proof of this.
This probably isn’t news to you.
The question is, how do we step out of this vicious cycle of pushing and trying at life and instead become present, grounded and grateful each day – even with these demands and standards constantly bombarding us?
Our bodies actually send us signals all the time. Yet, we have been conditioned to numb these signals in the name of “success”, “beauty”, approval, praise or maybe just because we naturally just like to avoid facing discomfort.
We are taught to look outside of ourselves for what is acceptable instead of trusting our intuition or letting our bodies be our guides. We find ourselves people pleasing even when our bodies are screaming ENOUGH!
Boundaries can help us balance our external world and help us to stay in a place of love and compassion for ourselves and others. Because, ultimately we want to be giving back to the planet and connecting with people from a high vibration and authentic space within ourselves.
From a space that is deeply self-aware, intuitive and compassionate. A space of overflow.
A space where we love and respect ourselves enough to fill our “cups” first by honoring our bodies and boundaries.
So what are boundaries?
Boundaries create an opportunity for us to clearly and consciously communicate with ourselves and others when it comes to : our bodies, our values, our needs, our rights and our limits.
Boundaries are not about controlling others. Ultimately we have no control.
However, we are all innately worthy to live our lives in line with our values and boundaries. To live in honesty with ourselves by clearly stating what those boundaries are in a conscious way.
So a few guidelines for when you are practicing honoring that wise body of yours.
When you are setting boundaries, be sure to ask yourself where they are stemming from.
Are they coming from a space of love, self-awareness and authenticity?
Or maybe is it more out of fear or ego?
How can you know the difference?
When your boundaries come from a place of fear – this is when the ego will show up and the boundaries you set will not have the same healing and empowering impact for you.
Boundaries set from a space of ego or fear are easily detected when there is a need to be right/better/win, to hurt, shame, punish or make someone else wrong.
There’s nothing right or wrong here, just become aware of what’s behind this ego/fear space so that you can begin to heal and grow and set boundaries from a more authentic space.
Dive a little deeper and ask yourself :
“Does my body feel expansive or restrictive when thinking about this (insert person, situation, place”)
“What exactly is it about this situation that is triggering me?”
“Have I been here before in my life? When?”
“What stories have I created about myself and others that are causing me to be in this fear/ego space? Are these stories factually true?”
This is the real work of healing and transformation. Peeling back the layers of the ego!
Ultimately, we want our boundaries to be about creating healthy ways to move forward from an empowered space where we undoubtedly know our worth, values and needs and can become at peace with ourselves, a situation or person without trying to control or change anything outside of our own bodies.
Other questions you can journal or ask yourself while establishing boundaries:
“Is this boundary healthy for me mentally and physically?”
“If I do not set this boundary what do I risk?”
“What does setting this boundary allow me to create for myself/others?”
When you are in that space of awareness in your boundaries, especially when it comes to toxic relationships or people who are disrespectful towards you and your needs, it is important that you also have outlets to free yourself from some of that draining and negative space.
This can also apply to breaking toxic habits within yourself.
Here are some suggestions:
Spend time intentionally listening to yourself. Place your hand on your heart or womb/belly space and ask your body instead of your head what he/she needs. Don’t rush this process.
Do you notice any sensations when you ask your body a certain question?
What is this sensation telling you?
How can you remind yourself to trust your body and recognise this message in the future?
What do I really feel under my fear/story?
What is the impact for not living in my authentic truth for myself and for others around me?
Move your body and shake away what you don’t need. No choreography required. Go wild. It’s not always pretty and that’s the beauty of intuitive primal dancing as a form of release.
Practice some primal screams into a pillow. Let out energetic blockages, shame, guilt hurt from deep down within your belly. Be careful not to harm your vocal cords, but this can be so therapeutic!
Breath work. Our breath has the power to move so much stagnant and stale energy out of our bodies. Take the time to research different techniques and use your breath to bring yourself back to your truth.
This work is a process. It takes time energy and patience to do the work. If you need support head to www.riseandembody.com to learn more about 1:1 support with me!